January 6, 2010: The Good Fight

Kreischberg, Austria – Life is not going well. I know that is very silly and selfish to say especially since I’ve been blessed with wonderful family and friends, great health and an opportunity to follow my passion, but when your entire being is dedicated towards one goal and that goal seems to be slipping away, it’s hard to keep things in perspective. Because in reality, my life really is great. But my mind and heart do not always live in reality.

The third Olympic qualifying World Cup was a disappointment. After the last training session, I went into the race with more confidence than I’ve had before and I knew, just knew, that today would be the day when I would get my top 30 and finish the day ecstatically happy. I envisioned it. I felt it. I believed it. I didn’t stress about it because I knew it would happen.

According to Coach Mark the top of the run was good. Despite a few bobbles, I was carving more and had a decent line. I felt relaxed but still went for it. Things felt easy and smooth. I made it down the first pitch without problem or hesitation, just trusted that the board would hold and it did. But on the very last pitch, I went too straight at the third to the last gate, jammed on my heelside and washed out, dumping all my speed and losing time. I didn’t come to a complete stop and was able to get moving again into the finish, but I might as well have as I ended up 24th in my course and 47th overall.

Who knows what would have happened if I didn’t slide out. I keep running it over and over in my mind, trying to figure out how much time I lost. Where would I have ended up had I not made the mistake?

I immediately started beating myself up with doubts and wondering if I really did have what it takes, is my best really good enough, is this all for naught. But no matter how down I get, I can’t shake the feeling deep down that I am good enough and my Olympic dream is going to happen. There is a battle inside me between putting myself down and cutting myself some slack. I feel terrible after not doing well at a World Cup, but at the same time I am competing against the best girls in the world. Some have been doing it since they were kids, others have tremendous financial backing that allows them to be on snow year-round with an army of support staff, and most have both. I know I’ve come a long way with my snowboarding career and have already accomplished what would have seemed impossible ten years ago.

So after more tears (ugh) and a great talk with Coach Mark, who remains concretely and steadfastly confident and supportive, I’m chalking today up to a mistake. Today’s result is not fatal, and it’s a learning experience. This journey is about the ups and downs, but more importantly now, it’s about the fight. It’s about getting up when you are beat down and fighting the good fight all the way to the end. I’ve always thought that the true test of character is how you react when times are challenging, so the big question for me is: Am I going to fight harder or just give up?

I’m going to fight, with everything I have left in me.

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7 Responses to “January 6, 2010: The Good Fight”


  1. 1 Bonnie January 6, 2010 at 2:30 pm

    Eden,
    I am in tears reading this. I know your best is yet to come. Put yourself in that “bubble” and let God push it down the mountain.

    Remember 2 Timothy 4:7

    “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.”

    Your’e not done yet. you need to finisht he race.
    Love,
    Bonnie

  2. 2 Your Teammate January 6, 2010 at 2:49 pm

    You’ve got what it takes. You know it – I know it. Sports is a law of averages, the more you try the more you give yourself a chance to succeed. You’re in the homestretch for qualifications – your last runs – these will be your best runs. Feel it, ride it, rip it!

    Go PHI.

    J

  3. 3 Francis Santiago January 6, 2010 at 3:39 pm

    Eden,

    With two more World Cups, I know you can still do it.I know you can still make history and make the Filipino people proud once again.
    Don’t give up and keep the faith. The Filipinos here, whom you are carrying on shoulders, are rallying behind you.
    There’s no mountain too big to overcome if you have the perseverance and God by your side.
    God is with you.

    Francis

  4. 4 Addie Bantug January 7, 2010 at 6:00 am

    HANG IN THERE. WE HAVE BEEN FOLLOWING YOUR UPS AND DOWNS BUT NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE ACCOMPLISHED WHAT IT TAKES. A COUPLE MORE QUALIFYING HITS, I KNOW YOU ARE DETERMINED TO GET THERE. HE OR SHE ENDURES TO THE END WILL BE REWARDED. WE ARE WITH YOU. FILIPINO -CANADIANS IN OTTAWA CANADA.

  5. 5 agitatedpinoy January 7, 2010 at 4:06 pm

    Hi Ms. Serina!

    I could only imagine how hard the training must be and how much passion you have given your pursuit of Olympic glory. Whatever happens, you already are a hero to Filipinos trying so hard to surmount barriers towards greatness.

    We are proud of your endeavor. Kudos! More power!

    A FAN

  6. 6 kayano14 January 7, 2010 at 7:02 pm

    Keep fighting, Eden! You’ve trained hard, worked through injury and prepared as best you can.

  7. 7 Nasa Likod Moe January 7, 2010 at 7:52 pm

    Kaya mo yan! You are a Filipina. Filipino blood. Filipino values. Faith in God. You will make it up to your dream, our dream. We are behind you. Now GO for it gurl!!!


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